Parents.......

Parents
Authority
Reason
Essence
Notarity
Turbulence
Senseless

As a parent we don't get much peace and quite! We are the authority and reasoning folks in our house. At times its good at times not so good!
A essence of love shadows all of what I do and what they do...I know it does.
We all love differently and some with notarity as well. We can each not the few times it truely matters to love another. Continued love for another goes up and down, moods change and sometimes turbulant days exsist. One to another we get through it wi the help of our siblings and friends. Other women help us as well. There are days that our lives make little sense and we get little done! Or at least what we thought we should get done.
Senseless acts of kindness and freindships are what makes our lives interesting. We live life day to day at our house and things come and go and that is LIFE as a PARENT!

Compassion!

Compassion
Optimism
Meaning
Potential
Awareness
Seriousness
Seclusion
Innocence
Occurances
Nonsense

Being compassionate about something means to grasp it and run with it. You believe in it, nuture it and hold the Optimism that it will grow.
Meaning is understanding it's lifes potential! We see how babies with in us grow and outside of us grow some more.
Awareness is something that comes with time and understanding there are times of seriousness when there is a diagnosis at hand.
The diagnosis of Autism often puts you into seclusion within yourself. The child that has been diagnosed you look at them so innocent. Autism has taken them away. No words to tell you there needs or wants, how do we communicate now!
Rare occurances of mumble or sigh from your child and finally a friend says do sign language that will help. Nonscense I say how will that help him and me , I don't know. Learn it, learn it! Ok, I say. We did 30 signs later we could communicate. She was right and very compassionate about her job and my need to communicate with my son! What an amazing women!
She gave me hope & compassion to just be able to be with my son.

HOPE

Hope
Obstacles
Peace
Excitement

Well, all we have is hope these days of Autism and the end of the school year. Obstacles and transitions are tough for my boys. I feel that we are in a place where those are not as bad and not as hard.

It just seems that having a moment of Peace in our house is a whole nother
story! Yes, peace and quite is not what we have these days. A pre-teen and a teen-ager are tough to deal with, cause smart language and a quick wite sucks some days.

I wonder why they get so excited when I say no you can't do that or yes you can have that when i'm done with my lunch. Nothing is ever soon enough in there eyes. Ughh, cook and clean a little and off to draw or fix a train or a book that needs a bit of attention.

Oh, dear where did I leave off with dinner or lunch. I feel lost in my own world sometimes. Geez guess Autism takes over my world and makes me crazy some days and ya know it seems to me that my only peace is when everyone is busy or asleep. Now going to bed early excites me cause I feel better and more rested to deal with my days with the boys.

My issue these days is a traveling hubby and that's hard, cause I plan something and he comes out with a new schedule and then i have to put off stuff or change stuff to meet his schedule. Geez will I ever get a vacation?

Well, guess a girl can hope, hope and wish for some excitement of my own. Guess I'll have to find something more exciting to write about.

Hope is just that.

Signing off for today.

Work...Workshops....

Just amazing that I have sat in a workshop for 2 days straight and learned alot, but can't apply it all yet...need to get homework done now. Geez if it's not one thing it's another.
Ok, now back to my life! Kids, work etc. Hubby home this week too...lots to do!
Ok making this a short post, but will have more for you tomorrow!

Enjoy your night.

Gems in the rough......

Amazing day today, really saw who my teenager is important! Not Mom for sure, that smarts. While shopping for something for myself he didn't want to even choose anything for me, but he was shopping for his Dad's day gift.
Get that? Geez o peets.

I wonder what he really would choose for me if given a chance with his Dad?
I may just send him out tomorrow with his Dad!

Well, I got what I really wanted for Mom's Day. Something I would not usually choose, but it seemed to call my name for the the flowered Vera Wang necklace! Yes, I said Vera Wang. Beautiful purple flowered stone necklace. It was one I have not ever scene before.

But there was one that had me written all over it it was a gold, cooper, and diamond (silver) necklace.

Yes, that's right...on sale 60% off and a additional 15% off...so mind you it was alot less expensive then the cloths I bought. So, the boys got me a nice piece of jewlery this year...well after almost 15 years of marriage and rough teenage years I decided that this would be a perfect year to get something I really wanted and not something I needed.

Happy Mom's Day to all you Gems out there.

ox

Flat Tire..........

Guess I was all outta air today!!!
Flat tire made me think of how time does not fly when sitting in the midst of merge from one freeway to another!
It's like life doesn't stop even know your stopped! I know it was just my car, but it made me think how a diagnosis of Autism stops so many folks, but when others know nothing about what a parent goes through it's hard to get it. Even if you are a good freind. Video's on the internent now are easy to pull up and show your friends what it's like.
Those are true moments of changing an attitude in people who thought they knew your real life.
As I pondered my life with Autism, in the review mirror I saw a lights, wow the tow truck is hear! Well, think about this if you see a child having a behavioral issue at the store ask if you can help and not say geez control your kid. You must be a bad parent...now this has happened to me and a guy did ask to help....what did i do made him go away. Interesting enough he walked back into our house a few years later as a fix it man. Fix it...he wanted to help me with my kid and I said no....it was like he was a guardian angle...just like the tow truck driver today!
Yes, I just said that...he knew I was freaked by just where I was sitting between 2 fast freeways and was like get me the heck out of here...feels like the diagnosis of autism as well.
Nope not kiddin here.....I didn't ask for it, but now I'm living with it and doing pretty good, advocating for what i believe the best for my boys.
Time will tell how there life will be, but I hope that more folks get what Autism is and help these kids figure out there lives and help the families with little kids through a tough time in public if they need it.

Monday before an IEP....ughhh

Feeling icky about this IEP.
He's doing ok in school, but having some issues with his friends and this usually happens at the beginning of the school year. Now is spring too.

Geez being a teenager is tough enough, but all these changes in his classes and him going to high school class has got me worried. He is really growing up, but acts like he's 8 sometimes. Autism Sucks some days and I really don't get how to discipline a teenager, with the exception of taking everything with a screen away from him!

I just want peace in my home again again and at school too. Is that to much to ask for.

Wish me luck.....

Nice Day

Wow, what a beautiful day. Boys did pretty well.
I was tired from a night out playing bunco.
They got up at 6am.....now tomorrow a school day they oversleep. Oh well guess thats life.
Went to a cool fundraiser for a friend today, nice to get out and hang with friends.
IEP Week for me always stressful! Goodnight.

Autism Awareness doesn't stop because April is Awareness Month...

Autism is something I talk about every day. I face it everyday and all day with my boys. It's ok somedays, but hard others. People stare at me trying to discipline my kids and say what's your problem. My reply some days is just simple this, would you like to try a day in my shoes living with autism! Most people walk away with saying nothing, others will say how can I help...... these are the people that always seem to reappear in my life from time to time.
Like one time coming out of a toy store a man asked me if he could help with my son and I reluctantly said no. He was a electrician that came to our home about a year later to do some work. His words to me where that day where you have come along way since the parking lot incident. I was like you are the man that offered help! He said, yes and he actually waited to make sure he was ok and then drove away. Now ya never know in a million years how you will be remembered.
So, if you see a situation that might need help ask if you can help. Or not, some times a different voice or look at the situation may help that parent with a difficult child. Not always, but at least a person doesn't feel helpless in the situation that cannot remedy at the time.
It's just what I would do if I had the chance again.
Autism is just a disorder, not a disease, but it is happening more often in life. 1 of 110 kids are diagnosed and 1 in 90 are boys.

Info go to autismspeaks.org is you need to know the signs or want more information. My walk page is still open if you want to make a donation.
www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/sonoma/hopeforbuddiesandfriends

Thank Goodness It's Friday....

Tough week with Dad away again and the boys wanting him home.
I have worked so hard to get them to this place of being a teenager, I think it is really time for there Dad to take over!

They are now and very soon to be both teenagers! It's hard with them both being on the autism spectrum, but they are both individuals and all others can say is there doing great and keep up the good work. Well, as a hard working Mom I feel like it's time for them to do more for themselves. My older son wants to be a Nascar driver and race or work at a computer game office helping create games etc. So I told them to live on there own they need to learn how to do things more around the house and all I get is it's my job. I recently said you all need to help I can't and won't do it all myself anymore.

Here is how it's gonna be. Spending money around here is gonna be earned and not given anymore. They where like you used to buy us stuff, I said well that's over now. Grow up and get yourself ready to be on your own.
You will get a paycheck every 2 weeks if you do what you are asked to do.

So, I guess we will see the first 2 week period is over next friday. J is doing well, b is not! Ha ha ha, not a suprise there.

Oh, that feels so much better getting it out, does my heart good to see it in writting. Now I have to follow through!

That's it for today.

Go out and make it a good night.

Family

What is something you did this year that has changed your outlook on family or your life personally.


Well, thinking this question over I have discovered many things I have done differently and am about to embark on as well.

Exercise and getting the boys involved as well!

Ahhhhh I'm back...

Wow, been a bit of time since I've written. Ok, here we go!
Just thinking about lifes twists and turns....
You never know how things will turn out. Like my sons each of them different personalities. One similar to me, the other to his Dad.
As life happens ya just need to roll with the situations as they come. Living day by day is all anyone can do.
Go out and make it a great day. :)

My Life.....

Wow, today I saw that advocacy for my kids is what I have learned! More so than I ever thought.

As I have grown as a parent with kids on the autism spectrum, I've keep learning new things all the time. Support comes in so many different ways. From places you wouldn't think it would.

Walking through the store or sitting with a group of people in a meeting. Its really interesting how parents get more attention and professionals listen when you describe a need or a different way of looking at a situation.

People should listen to each other more often.

Go out and listen and then advocate for your needs then your child's!

Boys....

Oh, so tired.  Why do my boys get up early on the weekends and sleep in during the week.
They are eating me out of house and home.  I swear I live at the grocery store these days.
Cooked many meals this week, hubby home for a bit and now I just want a cooking break.

Oh, well Bunco tonight to help raise awareness about Autism and also funds for my walk in April.
www.walknowforautism.org/sonoma/ronnie57

Have a great weekend!  It's 73 degrees right now. 

Autism and Asthma don't mix!

This last week has been horrible. My son had a asthma attack in the middle of the night and we finally got it calmed down and little sleep was had that night. 

I realize that normal kids have this issue to, but when a child has autism they don't express themselves very well.  My son can usually say he's sick, but that's only when his ears hurt or throat hurts.  The asthma thing
is a difficult thing to express for him!  Geez wish I had a warning sign besides wheezing and then it's gone to far.  Sometimes his nose runs, but usually not.

We have been explaining his asthma to him for years and he can't usually tell us it's his asthma.  Ugh, wish that Autism didn't have problem social traits issues, cause then he could tell us about it.

My wish is that someday he will just say that, "It's my asthma MOM!"

Autism is just hard some days, and I know that I have worked very hard to explain stuff over and over to them! Bert and Jav do understand alot, it expressing there feelings that are difficult alot.  Emotional times with them are interesting.....it takes time to understand what they want some days.  We have some behaviors that happen over and over and it makes me crazy at times, cause I just heard that story!

So, I remember that it takes time to break a habit or change a routine, so patients in my home runs thin at times.   We just continue to work with habits and routine on a daily basis.

Go out and do what you can and know others do what they can too.  Just do it in other words.

:)

T.G.I.F.

Man what a long week!
Between you and me to long.
Boys back in better health and hubby home! Yeah!

I realized this am after talking to both teachers that my boys do miss there Dad when he travels.
They don't like to talk about it much, but by the end of the week they are like what happened to a rountine and schedule!  I do my best, but it's different when he's gone it's just me!

Mom this, Mom that....I can only do so much as one person.  I need to eat and get laundry done too.  Geez after 2 trips to the grocery store and 20 hours at work and 8 loads of laundry I'm tired too.

Anyway,  I know this is short but I am only human and a MOM who tries to get it all done. 

Have a great weekend and will check in later!  New Nextbook ready to go and read a book at some point this weekend too. 

Full Nights Sleep!

It was nice to get a full nights sleep after a few not so good nights with Asthmatic kids in
the house.  Now the breathing and sleeping nights can begin! Yeah....
My day has been slow....but lots to do.  Taking it slower is nice somedays. 

Guess that's the best thing about making your own schedule! Gotta love it.

That's all for today we have Gymnastics with them today and that always proves
to be interesting.  One participates and the other watches...hmmm trying to get them
both to participate is another story.

Ok you ask why, loudness is an issue with the gym being so big and one of my boys is
supper sensitive to noise and that is the other reason he doesn't participate.  Well, guess
gotta take him to the pool.

Have a great day! :)

Feelings

Well as they say...behind is my middle name these days.
My blog today...
I knew in my heart that it was me who would carr the burdenof our boys and there Autism!  We have come so far in less than 10 years.  I will not stop looking for what will help them.  I will not give up on them or myself.  As their Mom.  As a mom of two sons with Autism.  I see , so many who don't understand autism, yet I fight and fall for them everyday. 
Early Intervention is only part of the answer. We as parents need to see we are there only hope at the beginning.  We advocate and fight for what we see and think is best at the time.  it is something as parents we have to do.  They are ours!
I whole heartedly love my boys to the end of the earthand back.
I have endured countless hours and days of fighting for what they need.  It's exhausting, but they are mine and our family is still one.  Many I know are not a united family anymore.  But I see why, but continue to fight for mine little family. We all need help and support sometimes and it's not easy to ask! Continue to ask and share with those who know you and care about you...many don't get it, but if they have kids they know behaviors and do have issu's too!
So share yourself and your story, to those have the time and care about you.  It's amazing who comes to your aide and also who may support you. 
Your kids are your legacy - future give them everything you can each day.
Remember we can all have a bad day! So, can the kids, but each day is new.  One day at a time is all you can do and all you have.  Choice is what we have!
Love
Autism
Understand
Growth
Hope